Gorgov Ptovskivich

Gorgov Ptovskivich (his original name), was an 89 year old man who was born at the age of 76. He was born in Central Memeteender. Originally, he was raised in a mobile home by a nurse who took care of all of his needs (reading the communist manifesto, taking a shit, and buying gift cards for family members he doesn’t really talk to anymore). When the nurse quit when Gorgov ALLEGEDLY punched her in the throat and called her a fucking loser for getting his favourite number wrong. He was moved into an old folks home called “Old Folks Home/Brewery/Walgreens”. He enjoyed his life a whole lot there, mainly because he got his own fridge and everything. The only part he didn’t like was going to old people church. He hated it because all the old people were too loud when they sang. Seriously, they sang at like 923842938429348729348% volume. He just wanted to sit in his room, watch roblox porn, and take a nap for a few days. One day, he was woken up for old people church. He got on his favourite shirt and shorts AND flip flops (gotta have them flops). He sat down, and immediately was hungry. During one of the hymns, he shouted “ANYBODY HAVE SOME FROSTED FLAKES”. The hymn stopped. The priest yelled “WHAT”. Then Gorgov yelled back “ahem.. I SAID DOES ANYBODY HAVE SOME FROSTED FLAKES”. Out of nowhere, the devil appeared with a bowl of frosted flakes. “Here, you can have the rest of mine i guess” he said. He gave Gorgov the flakes, and then Gorgov developed poorly drawn horns and teleported into hell. “I mean these flakes are pretty rad” he said. He spends the rest of his time doing what he did in the old folks home except in hell.